deanna you better not decide that you would rather hang out with your friends than with me and then dont go to boston today.

so i finally got a facebook and it is kind of scary. everything i do is written down. really weird. and i have a veryyy small oamount of friends so please be my friend...how pathetic does that sound. so if i like you i will add you. or if i am feeling lonely i will add you either way. lol. someone told me i hate when people say lol because they probably dont even think it is funny. However when i say lol i truly am laughing out loud. anyone who knows me knows that it is true.

i cant wait. i oredered a few things on amazon and the latest they will arrive will be in exactly a week. i am soo exited for the matrix and cecil b. demented. but having a guitar stand for my guitar will be cool too. i cannot deal with my computer right now. and i cant figure out why the internet doesnt work. there is seriously about 20 songs that i need to buy including whip it and take on me. i also need a new cd installation cd which i have been talking about for months but have never gotten around to trying to get one. i also wanted this purse that was bright yellow but shockingly i am completely broke. i was going to say i dont know what happened by i do, everything costs way to much money. i aqm so happy that i finally got an electric guitar. so far i have been really busy from school work and halloween and everything so i have decided that during the week i shoyuld only play half an hour. which is what i have been doing. not a whole lot but whatever. i got my halloween costume i really wanted to be a jeti but i couldnt find a light saber anywhere so i will be gimli. and i wiull have war scars and everything. sadly my costume was meant for a man so it is a little big but whatever. it came with a "cape" that goes down to my feet which is awesome. plus i have this fake ax which is gold with dragons.

food costs too much money. way too much.



i am in love. and who says you cant buy love.

nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo. i always gets my hopes up for nothing. for example, in eighth grade my dad told me i would get an electric guitar before i went to wy and i could take it to casper and learn/begin to learn how to play. i got my hopes up for nothing. last spring my mom said in the month of april i would get a guitar..that also didnt happen. i realize and i am just sad tha ti am not getting one and have come to the onclusions tha when i make enough money i will buy myself one and i am not upset. however this is different. i have blue oyster cult tickets, they were a birthday present and were luckily only 30 dollars. pple reading this will have no clue why i cant go because it is too personal, family issues. but whatever it just makes me angry;...i fucking fucking hate this sooo much. i hate drama obviously because it is all around me. and it is not even me exept for now. the good thing is my dad is thinking about letting me go with my mom. i just dont want my hopes to get high for nothing its just really disapointing. my god we already bought tickets. which were reasonably priced is a lot to waste.

wow i have always been such a simple person w/ not a lot of crazy emotions(wow what a lie it made me sound like a robot but it felt fun to say). whatever i feel so many emotions right now: i feel sooo exited because i am going to a blue oyster cult concert(i have an extra ticket so if you ask nicely...well actually its for my moms semi boyfriend but she said i could invite a friend if i wanted). well so exited, stressed: bc of all my hw, exhausted: i am semi sick so this week has not been fun, sad: i keep on thinking that it is friday then getting disappointed, worried: bc i have a quiz and a skit i have to preform tomorrow, whatever. today my mom asked me if i wanted to skip school next year and just travel the us staying at family and friends houses. it was so tempting to say yes. but i told her we should do it over the summer or i would do it after i graduate. she got upset well not really more like sad. i just feel like she gets these ideas into her head that she thinks will make her happy and im just worried that if we did do that we would start and then she wouldnt be happy. well i realllllly have to study.

im sick.
it sucks because i was sick the whole weekend so i just laid in bed. the good thing though is that i saw the matrix again the other night. i love tank and of course morpheus. i still had to clean the dining room and kitchen and of course my room but that is a given. it is always clean on monday but slowly getting farther in to the week it ends up so messy because i am always to tired or have more important things to do besides clean. the good thing is that there was a spider tha twas huge and black and terrorizzing my room. last time i saw it i freaked out and tried to get jazz to remove it but she just yelled at me and when i went back into my room i saw it go behind my bed. that night i slept on the floor in jazz's room because i was soo scared. then luckly we went to moms house after that. i reason i just said all that was because i found the spider after i made my bed on the wall next to it. and this time i was able t get jazz to take it out.
it is so annoying that i am scared of bugs...sadly yes it is all bugs because they are puny. if they are behind glass or on tv i will be grossed out but not scared. but if there is a chance that they could touch me i will freak.
i really want to go to powrta square: the way the train conductants say it however in english it is porter sq. anyway i really want japanese food.

i really wanted to switch out of spanish and into beginning german but sadly that is not going to happen because that would mean that my schedule would dhave to change so sadly i am stuck with spanish. which i guess isnt horrible because if i took german i would have to do it in my senior year. but i still might do that anyway. today i have full lunch and my spanish class was cancelled too. so my only class i have left is art and that does not really count.

i have this picture on my spanish binder becaus atleast whgeni look at it i can feel happy. i lost my school id from last yearand yesterday we took the train to my moms(i saw a very attractive guy. fro mthe back he looked like he was fifty and lived on the streets but whn he turned around he was gorgeous. he had long straight brown hair and blue eyes) anyway so the conductor was pissed that we had no id's and if he is the conductor for today and wqwe go on the train it wont be fun.


and this picture is for history jimmy page is amazing. they have to be black because we need permission to use the color printer

oh one last thing there is this kid who walks around w/ a guitar. yesterday it was white and tofay it was black. this makes me sooo angry because i really want a guitar and for people to cary them around in the cafeteria where they coulkd die. makes me want to beat them up and take the guitar.

how do i write in blurb or whatever its called

well maybe only a part of me has died. that part would be my happiness. now that school starts tomorrow i will be bored, tired, cranky, pissed, and for everyone else boring. i am not ready for school to start: i have not read any books that i shouls of, i have not gone schol supply shopping, i am just not ready. i really was planning on reading but it just never worked out...of course i read books just not the ones i should of. jazz became upsessed with dan brown and she had his books lieing around so i read them. i actually really liked angels and demons but some parts were a little demented. oh i saw little miss sunshine yesterday and i liked it. though i cried when the eye issue came up because it was horrible overall it was a good movie. i want to destroy itunes with all its protection on the songs but whatever. i wonder if i am supposed to bring stuff tomorrow. whatever i'll just act surprised when they ask where my backpack is and i'll just say that i thought i was going to a movie theatre or something stupid like that...its not like i am going to learn anything on the first day. k im going to go to donelans.